Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Calm before the storm
Being back in Jacksonville has left me with an empty feeling, and another feeling I cannot put into words. I unpacked this morning and I didn't even want to touch my maternity clothes. I made a "shrine" to our son on top of our bookcase, it made me feel better for some reason. I am very scared I am just going to get fed up with being here and leave. I don't want to leave my husband, but I feel being here is just bad, very bad for me. I don't know what to do yet. I don't really know how I feel yet. But I haven't broken down yet, and I am afraid it will just all hit me at once, and I won't be able to take it. I am scared.
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Breathe baby. He loves you and understands. You need to do what is best for you. My door and bedroom is open to you, you know that. Your are never alone, and always have a place to go to. Hang in there and do what you can do. That is all he asks of you. I love you.
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