Habakkuk 1:5

"..For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakkuk 1:5, NIV.


I have been doing this new thing when I read the Bible, where I will start reading where my heart is drawn to be reading. Some days it's the same book, some days it's a completely random book and chapter. This is what I found the other day using that 'technique'. I can say there have been many, many things in my life that have happened that I never would have believed if someone had told me it was going to happen to me. For instance, finding my husband whom I went to middle AND high school with and marrying him, moving away, and especially him being in the military. The song by Bruno Mars comes to mind when I think about how things happened with Adam, "All I went through led me to you, so I'd do it all over again for you."
Another thing that significantly changed me that occured is the loss of our son in 2011. I can't say I ever saw it coming, I mean..most people never think they are going to lose a child until it happens. It changes every part of you in ways you didn't think change was a possibility. At first, yes, I was a wreck. I still have my moments where I break down and resent everything God has ever done for me, but looking at who I was before and who I am now, I can see why it happeneed...even if it seems dark or morbid.

Anyway, back to the verse. I have been feeling down every once in a while to the point where I am convinced I need a change in my life, a purpose, or to move back home...or actually all three. I found this verse on one of those days I was feeling particularly low and it really really really was exactly what I needed to see. I am anxious to start my job, but I am trying my best to be patient and allow God to do his work in his time. Also, let's just assume all my bad feelings are just pregnancy related ;)

Dad came to visit this weekend and we did a lot of exploring. We went to Myrtle beach just so I could eat at a certain seafood restaurant, and we went to Fort Macon, and discovered one of my new favorite little restaurants in Atlantic beach. He left this morning and it's left a hole in my heart that makes me want to be home more than ever. I do have to admit, time is flying and I pray it continues to do so. I mean, my birthday is this weekend. This week it will be May...in my head I am still stuck in December and can even remember last year I was preparing to start working at the YWCA in Bristol. It does NOT feel like it's been a year since that time.

Anyway, to my friends back home that read this...I miss you all more than you could ever imagine. Talking to you every day or every other day helps me through this paranoia phase in my pregnancy and makes me feel a little closer to home. To those who have befriended me here, thank you. I know most people don't know my past or why I am the way I am (the ones who haven't known me long anyway) and it just means a lot to have someone there to talk to or just be around when I feel so isolated from MY world back home. Things have been tough, and to those who have been there I am very very grateful.

Anyway, I am done being sappy. Continue praying folks <3